I'm Coming

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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