Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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What happens when you search andreas' mum in google? You are redirected to man porn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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