Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops