How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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I'm rick james bitch

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Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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ever tried african food? they neither

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

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What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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Why do black people love kool aid? It is cools them down on a warm summer day and it tastes great! OHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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So a bar walks into a man...

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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