The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I put my baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

thumb_up thumb_down -10

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Once upon a time a was born

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than Monkey Ball? Super Monkey Ball. What's worse than Super Monkey Ball? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops