Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops