A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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I had a lemon. hi.

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a superhero and the other is just a normal person.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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hi

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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try slamming a revolving door

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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