why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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