How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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What's brown an sticky Shit

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Christ is a conspiracy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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it was all Tagart

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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YOU

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops