why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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