So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

hi charles lattuca III

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

Why did the white boy not make his high school basketball team? Because he was not as good as the other players.

Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...