How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -15

This is not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

thumb_up thumb_down -17

One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

thumb_up thumb_down -21

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

james schmitt whats your last name

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was it so easy for Superman to pick up chics? His butt ox.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops