Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

So a baby seal walks into a club.

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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