Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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