An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

Roses are red , violets are blue, you like 1d? STFU

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

Jebron Lames.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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