What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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star wars kid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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