What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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star wars kid

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A Black Man Walks Into an Office For A Job Interview. The Meeting Goes Very And He Soon Has A Very Nice Steady Job.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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One time i was sitting down

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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