Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why do anti jokes suck???? Because CC is Jewish and rapes orphan squirrels EJ

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A piece of shit gets flushed down the toilet. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

CHEEZECAKE

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why does six love nine? They both get pleasured

thumb_up thumb_down -15

In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

they make me sick. i hate them all with their big noses. they should all be rounded up and............... Oh I'm sorry, i thought this was anti-jew.com

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Hi Danny it's Louis Tehe

thumb_up thumb_down -131

the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops