A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

Robin, get into the Batmobile.

A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

A man walks into a bar He has a water, he is sober

What do you call a group of asians? China.

How do you leave a man in suspense...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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