Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

What stops a train? A missile

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

So a baby seal walks into a club.

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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