Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

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What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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What do Ping-Pong and Godzilla have in common? Both of them have nothing to do with budhism.

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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What did the Rabbi get for Christmas? Nothing because as you know Rabbi's are members of the Jewish community and therefore don't celebrate Christmas.

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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