Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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To mama so old, she might die soon.

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops