What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

thumb_up thumb_down -9

guess what? WHAT? Idk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is SkrillEX bad at fishing? S EX

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops