Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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