your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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My mom

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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sure!

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

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I will create more jobs for americans

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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