Obama

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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Q:Who has the highest K/D ratio in Call of Duty World at War A: Hitler, 6000000/1

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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