- Anti Joke

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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