Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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