If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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Chuck Norris.

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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