A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

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Communism hehe xd

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how many girlfriends does robert dupra have? none becomes his sister doesn't count trololololol

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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You are joking right?

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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