-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

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what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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