Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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pull my finger (farts)

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Your mom is so old she died

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops