...._ ..,,-======-. `''< .$$$$$$P"??$$??!!!!>. ,$$$$$$P .?!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$$$k !!!!!!!!!!!!!!> d$$$$$$$$ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!: d$$$$$$$$$F '!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: d$$$$$$$$$$ '!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$$$$$$$L !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! d$$$$$$$$$$$$ '!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! d$$$$$$$$$$$$ !!!!!XX!!!!!!!!!!!!! d$$$$$$$$$$$$x!!!!!!#X!!!!!!!!!!!!> 3$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!$!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!$!!!!!!!!!!!!!> ?$$$$$$$$$$?!!!!!!!Xd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$$$$$?!!!!!!!WT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$$F!!!!!!!td!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $$$$$$$!!!!!!!Ud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$!!!!!!W?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$C!!!!!!E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> ?$$$$$!!!!!!E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$b!!!!9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> `$$$$$C!!9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$bUi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! `$$$$$$$$$$$$$b!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$$$$$$$$f!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $$$$$$$$$$$$$)!!!!!!!!!!!!!> ?$$$$$$$$$$F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!; ?$$$$$%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!; $$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! `$$$$P?(`-, `'(-(-`<>.\'- ,;

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

thumb_up thumb_down -3

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Japan is Weird We aren’t saying Japanese people are weird but it’s a fact that the strangest pictures floating around the internet are from Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -5

two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops