One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his village.

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

kieran is a homosexual

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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