Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

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Cameron is a r e t a r d

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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How do you make a plummer sad? Kill his family.

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

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baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops