Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

u know whats a crime? rape

What's the new green? Green

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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