What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Knock Knock the door's open, come in

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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