Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What did the skateboarder do when he was trying to do an ollie kickflip 360 and tailslide on a rail and dismount heelflip to manual? He fell

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

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What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

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Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

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What is White on Top and Black on bottom? Micheal Jackson.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops