Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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24

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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silver bullet?

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

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So this guy walks into a bar, & says "I'll have a beer"........ Yup

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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