A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

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i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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So a guy is playing jeopardy and decides to choose the category "Therapist." so he tells the host, "I'll take the rapist for 200."

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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Ok everyone, you know that kid that after his joke he'll put louis on the bottom because that's his name? He sucks at joke telling and if you see any of his jokes, DISLIKE THEM!

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Your mother is so fat. We are all extremely concerned for her health.

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batman farted so hes retarded

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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