There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is blind

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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