whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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In my opinion I am superior to you all in every single way,an opinion you might disagree with, but can respect. While on the other hand, I have no reason to respect and even less agree with your inferior opinions at all.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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