"Do you know the joke about the No and Me Neither?" "No..." "Me neither."

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Orange Orange who? Banana Banana who? I have AIDS

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

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A boy tells his friend a 9/11 joke. The boy's friend says "Don't joke about 9/11, my dad died in it." "I'm sorry I didn't know.", responds the boy. "Yeah, that's the last plane he ever flew"

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A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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Jimmy tells his mom he wants to be a Firefighter when he grows up to which the mother replies, "You can't Jimmy, you have leukemia."

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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How do you cheer up a sad caterpillar? KILL IT WITH FIRE

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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