You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

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What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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