Why are they the "living" daylights?

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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what did the african man have for breakfast? Ebola cereal.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

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Funeral... You can't spell it without FUN

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops