DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

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When Glenn looks in the mirror all he sees is Nicole Sipes.

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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why are balck people black because they are

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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