There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

There's my tractor.

What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

Pickles

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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