A dog walks into a bar, the bartender quickly says to its owner that he must leave as dogs are not allowed in. Upon realizing that it is a seeing eye dog, the bartender retracts his statement and serves the owner a drink.

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Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

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Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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i like my coffee like i like my women... Without a penis

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

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Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

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Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

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Why can't jokes spit?

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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