Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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a dyslexic boy prays to dog.

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What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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Inspirational story: There once was an ugly old man who was so ugly everyone died. The end -Matt

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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What did the blond say to the ginger Stop drop and roll your hairs on fire

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Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops