when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

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dickdickvdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a truck.

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WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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A skinny white prisoner dropped his soap in the shower. So the big, ripped, black prisoner who was showering next to him picked up the soap and handed it back to him. The skinny white prisoner said "Thank you" and continued with his shower.

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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whats worse then finding your mom with your boyfriend? finding your dad with your girlfriend.

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What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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Intel Core Computers answer robot flavored phones at middle of june CC

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Roses are red violates are blue, matty is gay, sebby is too

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

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Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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