NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Knock Knock Come in

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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8

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops