Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"hey do you know the date" "58"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops