What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...