Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

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60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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I going to the kitchen to make a #sandwich.....oh wait this isn't twitter

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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Ask your friend: Will you remember me in a week? Will you remember me in a month? Will you remember me in a year? Knock Knock. Who's there? How did you forget me already?!?

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp.

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A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

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What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

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What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

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Why did the kid get beaten up? -he was gay

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Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

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how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops