My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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