How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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Q: What Would Canada Be With out Nature A: Peru

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What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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The moment where Perfect Cell returns declaring he has become "even more perfect" There is no level above perfect :P But sure Cell, strive to improve further on your "perfection", oh he is dead nevermind. Still my favorite character, narcissist, with a touch of class, and a sadistic personality, what more can you wish for?

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Q:why was steve sad? A:he had an extra penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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