how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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WHAT DO U CALL GINGERS GABRIELLA

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

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What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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