What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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time to spruce up!

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pobody's nerfect

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whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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WNBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops