What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

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World's 2 Biggest Lies 1. I have read and agree to the Terms of Service 2. That was my last piece of gum

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

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Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

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How do you cheer up a sad caterpillar? KILL IT WITH FIRE

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Why could the little girl not swim? She had rabies.

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knock knock!? . . No.

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What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

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Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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