Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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One day a woman wrote a letter to her husband whom was at war. He received it, read it, and was happy to know she was thinking of him.

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

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oh hi, i'm an idiot, i mean mitt romney

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Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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A muslim man with a long beard and wearing a turban and robe boards an aircraft with a large suitcase. The plane later arrives at its destination a few minutes past the estimated arrival time due to bad weather.

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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