What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

Where did Jonathon go after he died? - Burger King, he died from diabetes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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